Sunday, October 30, 2011

Discouragement

What do you do when you are discouraged?

You know, that gripping fear of dread when you realize that the road you've turned down is nothing but an unmarked trail twisting through the foggy jungle of uncertainty?

Believe me, we would all race back to the safety of the "real road"  -- if we knew just where that was.

It turns out that life is full of uncertainty.  It is full of doubts, of failures and of fears.

All too often I've found myself quaking before it all - too terrified to move.

In fact, last August I was almost ready to quit this whole game.   Everything was changing.  Google was "slapping" people's entire businesses out from underneath of them.  I had already spend countless hours on this enterprise.

Was it really going to make me money?  Was it really what I wanted to do?  Would I ever see the day where I stay home and play with my kids?  Would I ever realize my fantasy of having a 4-hour workday?

Maybe I should just give up and go back to college.  But will I be able to find work in the field I choose?  Will people accept my college degree when there are so many unemployed people with BOTH a degree and experience?


Normally, this is when I quit.

This time, I had a wife that wouldn't let me quit.  (She was quite adamant about it)

So, instead, I developed a My Battle Plan against Paralyzing Fear.

I promised to share it with you. Here it is:

Battle Plan For Over-Coming Paralyzing Fear


One Caveat: This is not about fighting a lack of "Hutzpah" or "Umph".  That, my friend, is called "lack of motivation" and must be re-kindled by other means...

It just so happened that as I was about to face these questions in my life, I was reading a book by a former Navy Seal: Richard "Mack" Machowicz.(I read it about once every 18 months - its that good)  You may have seen him on Discovery Channel, talking about tactical weaponry.

Before he was on the Discovery Channel, he wrote this book "Unleashing The Warrior Within" which talks about battle tactics and how to apply them to your life. (The one in the photo is the newest version which I haven't read.  The old one is out-of-print)

So here was what I did, to pick myself up and move forward.

A two-step process:

1. Know Your Goals 
All right, so our soldier-boys are going to take down the enemy.  What enemy?

There is a lot of bad in this world.  A lot of things that need to be killed, destroyed and replaced by something beautiful.  (Which, begs the question "What is beautiful?")

What should our soldier-boys be taking out first?

In your own life: what is the most important thing you need to accomplish?

For me?  I want to raise a family that glorifies God and does good in this world.

That was easy.  What's the next important thing?

It turns out I have a lot of goals:  I want to be fit, build schools in Africa (and possibly Mexico), be debt-free, play guitar (at least - if not other instruments), be awesome, be gentle, be educated...

So, which goal should I take on first?

Here's where this becomes and actionable exercise.  Get up from your computer and go get a pen and paper.  Or, promise me that you will bookmark this page and come back with a pen and paper sometime.  This is an excellent exercise.

Create a list of the top 5 (or 4 or 8...) things you want to accomplish (in no particular order).   These will be your "targets"
Family
Fitness
Debt-Free (AKA "Blogging" since that is my method of choice for fighting said disease called debt)
Guitar
Portuguese

Now, we're going to use Richard Machowicz's CARVER Matrix to determine which "target" should become your first goal.

A little Explanation.  The CARVER matrix looks at what things are most easily achieved, and will give you the most success.  Read this Wikipedia Article for a full explanation.

Here's How you work through it:

Take each target.  Ask each question and rate it from 1-5, with 1 being "least" and 5 being "greatest".

C - Criticality: How vital is this target to the overall mission?
A - Accessibility: How easy is this target to accomplish? Do you have the tools/time to accomplish it?
R - Recognizability: Will you recognize when you are doing things that help you hit this target?
V - Vulnerability: What can get in the way of hitting this target? Work? Stress? Politics?
E - Effectiveness: What will hitting this target do for your life?
R - Return on Effort: Will the enemy recover after you hit this target? Are we cutting off a limb?

Let me Give you an Example
So, with my Bloggin'-for-profit enterprise, here's how I looked at it:

Criticality? Boy, howdy! If I could accomplish this target, I would have no-debt and lots of free time.  It would, in one move, eliminate most of my obstacles to future goals for my life. It is a 5.
Accessibility?  Yes, I have a computer.  Yes, I have some "free" time.  Yes, my wife is supportive. This one is a 5.

Recognizability? Well, I will recognize the money as it comes in, but I will also recognize when I am writing and creating either content or promoting my sites... and when I am just reading forums or taking a day off.  Also a 5.

Vulnerability? Very vulnerable.  May take some time and requires about $50 a month (high estimate) to pursue, but overall, very vulnerable. I'll give this one a 4.

Effectiveness? You might call this "Effect on Happiness".  Anyone up for a vacation to Puerto Villarta?  How 'bout a scouting trip back to Africa? Accomplishing this target might just let my family change the world. Its a 5.

Return on Effort? How easily will my debt recover? It all depends on Google. But, there are ways to diversify both the business model and the traffic to help make the company more stable.  I'll give it a 1. (with time, it will become a 3)

So,when we look at it.  There was one "1" that was holding me back.  Here's how all of the goals fared:

Targets Critical Recognize Vulnerable Effect Happiness Return Total
Family 5 5 5 5+ 5+ 25+
Fitness 3 5 2 3 2 15
Blogging 5 5 4 5 1 20
Guitar 1 5 4 2 2 14
Portugues 2 4 4 2 4 16


Suddenly, I'm discovering some crazy stuff.  Like learning Portuguese is more important to me than Playing the Guitar.

I also stacked Blogging next to other ways of becoming debt-free such as "college" or "small-engine repair".  While the outcome would have been similar, neither one allows as automated of an income, as rapidly, with as little investment... The choice became very clear when I put it on paper.

SOOO, Discover your goals and then....


2. Create an Actionable Plan
The book has a whole chapter on this.  Let me just say: you can't see very far into the future.  So ask yourself this:

What is the next thing I need to do?

Shame, shame, shame...
You are already freaking out again, aren't you?  You could build another website create a press release add some more photos do keyword research add helpful comments in forums to create more traffic buy a backlinks blaster to create more backlinks... AAAAACK!

Didn't I just teach you the CARVER matrix?  Use it!

Take each target, fill out the matrix as easily as you can.  Pretty soon you will be using it in your head to determine whether you should go to Wendy's or Subway.  (What is more important - fitness or the time driving to a further restaurant?)

I had my goals.  I started a list of the next thing I needed to do.  I did it.
And then the next thing.
And then the next thing.

It's to the point now, where you CAN'T drag me away with your sales pitches to chase shiny objects.  (and, believe me, the internet is FULL of shiny objects).  I matrix it and see how it fits. 

ok, so the Christmas Blog was a little bit of a shiny object

Is this a cure-all?  I don't know, I haven't tried using it on a break-up.  But I have found that it has helped me to control the uncertainty of life and focus on things that the Good Lord has put into my hands to control.

For everything else?  I just play that Keith Green Youtube video every now and again.

Hope that helps some of you.  Feel Free to Add your comments, agreements and dissents below.  

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Income report coming up in a few days.  You guys are going to love these numbers!




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